The other day I took some time and went on a solo bike ride that ended up by the Ottawa River. There were some things I needed to work out, and one was the question of why I no longer was able to write freely, everyday, anytime of the day. I began to miss the days, years ago, when I would just write. I could scribble for hours and tune out the world. Why can’t I have that ability now? What is it that is making me flaky when it comes to my writing?
I missed that. I missed having fun while I wrote. It came to a point where every sentence, every word that I wrote I was unsure of. As a writer you need to trust in your work. That is how you can deal with the pressure and the criticism. But I think the pressure of wanting to be published, or to write something that someone will accept, has made me loss the joy I once felt when I wrote stories.
So I will try something new. I have decided to write just for me, for now. Robert J. Wiersema wrote a great article about J.K. Rowling and her pseudonym. Why do writers often publish in different names? It is to avoid the pressure of the audience and the publisher, and to step away from a great name. Writing something spectacular is amazing, but then there is that expectation to do it again. And the disappointment that follows if you aren’t successful can be very painful. He quotes Rowling from a 2005 interview after the release of the final Harry Potter installment: “the first thing I write post-Harry could be absolutely dreadful, and, you know, people will buy it. So, you know, you;re let with this real insecurity.” Even a great writer needs to step away from their reputation and name. But me? I don’t even have a name yet to worry about.
For now, I am going to write something that I know I want to read. Then I suppose I will see what happens.
Photo reference: http://daskull.deviantart.com/art/Hello-my-name-is-54624760