Freaking Out in Amsterdam (But not really)

I was on a bit of a role tonight, and it felt very good. I can honestly say that I accomplished something, but I will admit that if I didn’t have the Round of Words in 80 Days deadline, I doubt I would have written more than a page tonight. 

The later part of the week was pretty full, with little time for me to write, unfortunately. But of course, that doesn’t stop me from thinking about the next chapter, or the next scene. Do you ever find yourself deliberately withholding yourself from writing? I am currently at a section of my novel that involves a first encounter, and it is during what can be considered an “action scene.” I am very nervous about not getting it right. How do I write about things I have never experience? How can I adequately transfer the vision in my mind to the computer screen?

Thank god for youtube. It makes me have so much more respect for all the writers that wrote before the internet. Then again, they were out having adventures and truly experiencing, while I sit at home in my pjs and watch other people’s adventures on youtube. Now I feel sad.

Again I circle back to the idea of experience, and wonder if my life will “pick up” soon. I had an anxiety dream last night. I had spontaneously decided to go to Europe with my cousin and brother. We had no plan, had no idea where we were, except that we were somewhere in Amsterdam, and I was the only one of the three bothered by it. I freaked out about one thing after another. As soon as something was resolved, I found a new small mishap to freak out about. By the time I woke up, I was incredible pleased to find myself in my same old bed, in my same old room. How do I interpret this? Am I not ready for adventure? Or perhaps I can read this as a personality thing. Nonetheless, I find myself not wanting to rely on youtube, but lack the resources to really go and experience all I want to, and need to, to add realism to my tale.

Of course there are limits to what you can experience. I mean, I really don’t want to experience a nuclear apocalypse just so the setting I create is legitimate. For that, I claim artistic license. 

At the end of this day, for I can no longer write, my eyes are closing as I type, I have reached 59 1/2 pages. That means I have 40 1/2 pages left. I am so excited!  There are 38 days left I believe. I think I can actually do this. 



photo reference:


One thought on “Freaking Out in Amsterdam (But not really)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s